Life's a Fish and Then You Fry

Frank Goes to Florida

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This article, Frank Goes to Florida, contains solely original content written by Chakor Channing. Therefore, the content is a copyright of Chakor Channing and no other users are permitted to change the content or use the content on any other websites. If you have any questions, please contact me. For more information, see the guidelines.

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Frank Goes to Florida
Chronological information
Previous story Kamalia vs. Shredder
Next story Quest of Time II


Vital statistics
Story written by Chakor Channing
Other names

Frank Goes to Florida is an upcoming Life's a Fish and Then You Fry fan fiction story of 2015. As the title clearly explains, this story will focus on Frank taking a vacation to Fort Myers, Florida.

Interestingly, this is not the first time Frank has been to Florida. This story does not follow any chronological order consistent with any of the other stories.


The events portrayed in this work of fan fiction are fictional. Any similarities to any real events or persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

At the Naples Zoo, a Bengal tiger, abused and starved at the zoo by an amateur zookeeper, kills said zookeeper and escapes from captivity. A day to night curfew is set in place in Naples and Fort Myers until the tiger is killed.

One week later, the alien named Frank, in disguise as a juvenile human, and his friend Kamalia Phellan prepare for a week long vacation in Fort Myers. Frank and Kamalia arrive at a Courtyard Marriott hotel, where they spend the night. At 3:30 in the morning, Frank and Kamalia board a bus to the local airport and arrive at the airport, where they check in for their flight and wait a few hours. During the waiting time, Frank pulls out his e-book and begins reading a story about a man-eating tiger loose on the Appalachian Trail. Frank and Kamalia board the plane, and not long after the flight takes off. Frank becomes nervous, as he is sitting by the window in view of the plane's wing and doesn't want to relive seeing things again.

Arriving in Fort Myers

After changing their flights at numerous airports, Frank and Kamalia arrive at Fort Myers. Upon seeing the clear sky and palm trees from his window on the plane, Frank exclaims in delight, relieved that he and Kamalia have finally arrived. After Frank and Kamalia depart from the Southwest Florida International Airport, they rent a van and Kamalia drives to their luxury trailer park, where their Florida home is waiting.

After settling in their new home, Frank and Kamalia prepare for a trip to Sanibel Island. As they leave for Sanibel Island, the owner of the park warns them about the escaped Bengal tiger and the curfew, advising them to return before dark. Frank then remarks that tigers are not night predators, and usually attack their victims in broad daylight. Frank leaves both Kamalia and the park owner wondering how he is so knowledgeable of tigers, only for Kamalia to later learn that he learned about tigers from the story he was reading on his e-book on their flight.

Trip to Sanibel

Frank and Kamalia drive to Sanibel Island, where Frank is eager to take pictures of the beach and the ocean for his new photography business. Kamalia remarks that Frank doesn't actually have a photography business yet, but Frank just ignores her and takes out his Nikon camera. Frank and Kamalia walk down to the beach on Sanibel, where they set up a beach blanket and Frank begins taking pictures.

While Frank is busy with his camera, Kamalia begins talking with a person on the beach who is appalled by Frank's appearance. Kamalia explains that Frank is a human child with a head deformity (which we all know is just a cover for him being an alien). Meanwhile, Frank finds several interesting seashells on the beach, taking some home in a plastic bag as memories from the trip and taking pictures of the larger shells. Frank spots two dolphins swimming in the ocean and takes a few pictures. Frank also begins taking pictures of a flock of seagulls on the beach and many of the oddly shaped palm trees.

First night in Fort Myers

After Frank is finished taking his many pictures of life on the beach, he and Kamalia leave Sanibel Island and return to the trailer park for dinner. When they return to the park, Kamalia pulls out their grill and begins cooking hamburgers. Frank gets out the hamburger buns, toppings, and beverages (those being plain water, soda, and wine). While the hamburgers are still cooking, Kamalia sets the outdoor table. Frank and Kamalia sit down for dinner and have a cheers with their beverages, grateful that they finally arrived in Florida for their vacation. Smelling the hamburgers cooking and the other foods from the residents of the park, the tiger arrives and stalks the park from behind the large bushes and palm trees.

When the sun sets, Frank and Kamalia clean up their table and head inside to prepare for bed. Kamalia finishes washing the dishes, and Frank sits down in his comfort chair with a glass of wine to watch the weather forecast on their television set. Kamalia remarks that Frank will be the one to wash his wine cup, as she is tired of washing all of the dishes herself. Frank agrees and turns off the television. After Frank washes his wine cup, he and Kamalia prepare for bed. Kamalia sleeps in a bedroom, while Frank sleeps on the couch in the living room/kitchen.

Morning air

The next morning, Kamalia wakes up and prepares for breakfast. As Kamalia goes outside to sniff the fresh morning Florida air, she overhears her neighbors talking about the escaped tiger. While Frank is still asleep inside, Kamalia goes to talk to her neighbors. Kamalia asks why they are still talking about the tiger and one of the neighbors, who introduces herself as Janus, explains that her dog had been barking up a storm last night and was afraid that it may have been because the tiger has found its way to the trailer park. Kamalia, using her werewolf sense of smell, explains that she too smells something unusual in the air, but is doubtful that it is the tiger.

Frank wakes up and starts cooking his breakfast, his breakfast being a grapefruit, toasted waffles, and of course a glass of wine to replace the average Joe's cup of morning orange juice. Kamalia returns inside for her breakfast, where she becomes worried when she finds Frank drinking more wine. Explaining that he needs to avoid alcohol intoxication, Kamalia forbids Frank from drinking any more until the evening. Frank agrees and dumps his wine.


After Frank and Kamalia are done discussing Frank's wine issue, Kamalia tells him that their neighbor Janus, who Kamalia had been talking to earlier in the morning, asked if they could look after her poodle named Janet while she is at work. Knowing Frank's love of dogs, Kamalia suggested that he be the one to look after Janet while she stocks up on food at the local grocery market. Frank agrees, looking forward to taking care of Janet.

Frank and Kamalia arrive at Janus' trailer to pick up Janet. When they arrive, Janus tells them all of what they need to do to make sure Janet is happy: feed her before 11:00 AM, give her a toy to chew on, and play ball with her to avoid Janet asking for attention. Frank promises that he will follow all of the rules, and Janus kindly hands over Janet to Frank, who starts barking as Frank is an unfamiliar person to Janet. Frank and Kamalia return to their home, and Kamalia leaves for the grocery market while Frank stays home on the porch taking care of Janet.

After Frank gives Janet her water bowl and feeds her a dog treat, Janet starts happily barking. Listening to Janet barking, Frank remembers that he has to give her a toy. Frank throws her a ball, and Janet catches the ball, starts chewing on it, and gives it back to Frank. Frank and Janet start a game of "catch the ball", throwing the ball back to each other. After Frank and Janet are done playing with the ball, Frank gives Janet her lunch, which is a bowl of dog kibble.

After Janet is finished with her lunch, and Kamalia has yet to return from the grocery market, Frank gets an idea to take Janet on a trip to Sanibel Island. Afraid of getting into trouble with Janet's owner Janus and Kamalia, Frank decides to hold off on the Sanibel trip. Instead, Frank decides to take Janet out for a walk around the park. After Frank gives Janet more water to drink from her bowl, they head outside of a walk around the park. For a majority of the time Frank is taking Janet out for her walk, it is actually Janet who is giving Frank a walk, as she tugs on her leash frequently out of excitement of meeting some of the other dogs in the park.

However, when Frank and Janet are almost finished with their walk around the park, Janet starts barking much louder than normal. Janet continues barking loudly, and she looks at the fence separating their trailer park from the neighboring park, as if there is something behind the fence. As Janet continues barking, many of the other dogs in the park begin barking as well. Frank becomes worried about both Janet herself and why she is barking at the fence, and he decides to take Janet back inside. This proves to be a struggle for Frank, as Janet continues barking at the fence whilst they are walking home.

Attack scene

When Frank and Janet return to their home, Frank gives Janet some more water to drink. To his surprise, two officers from the Fort Myers Police Department knock on the porch door. Frank opens the door and politely asks if he can do anything for the officers. One of the officers, who introduces himself as Officer Barns, asks Frank if he had seen anything unusual in the park. Frank explains that Janet had been acting strange while they were out for their walk, and that he had sensed a wet fur smell, which he assumes caused Janet to bark.

Barns, knowing that Frank is aware of the curfew set in place because of the escaped tiger, informs him that a person was found severely wounded in the neighboring park and that animal footprints were found at the scene, pointing to the tiger as the attacker. The other officer, who introduces himself as Officer Johnson, asks Frank if he had heard or seen anything of the tiger attack. Frank confirms that he and Janet had only sensed a wet fur smell (presumably from the tiger) while out for their walk, and they had not heard or seen anything. Officers Barns and Johnson thank Frank for his cooperation and leave Frank's home, advising him to keep himself and Kamalia safe from another possible tiger attack.

Kamalia returns home from the grocery market and sees the departing police officers upon entering the trailer. Kamalia goes inside and sets down her grocery bags, asking Frank what the officers were doing at their home. Frank explains that there was a tiger attack at the neighboring trailer park and that the officers wanted to know if he had seen anything of the attack.

Cookout night

Kamalia becomes worried for her and Frank because of the tiger attack, but they still have six days left of their vacation and cannot simply pack up and leave. Knowing this, Kamalia decides to take extra safety precaution in their home to avoid another tiger attack.

Kamalia then explains to Frank that she had a talk with Janet's owner Janus and that her and the other neighbors are planning a cookout this evening. Frank asks if there will be wine at the cookout, which Kamalia confirms that there will not be any wine to avoid Frank's addictions. Frank agrees and goes to use the lavatory. After Frank is finished in the lavatory, Kamalia explains that Janus wants Janet back, as the dog-sitting time is over. Frank says goodbye to Janet and Kamalia takes her back to Janus.

Later the same evening, Frank dawns his human makeup and clothes, continuing to pass himself off as a young human with a brain disorder for the cookout to avoid suspicion from the neighbors. Kamalia prepares for the cookout as well. Frank and Kamalia set up the wooden picnic tables for the cookout, and the neighbors, including Janus and her dog Janet, arrive. Frank begins cooking hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill.

When everyone is ready to eat and the food is cooked, Frank finds an easy way to enjoy the cookout: by substituting is normal overdoses of wine with grapefruit soda. Kamalia also enjoys herself, but smells something in the air. While she fears this smell may be from the tiger, she tries to ignore it. Sure enough, ignoring the smell proves to be easy when Kamalia notices Frank overdosing himself with grapefruit soda. Kamalia scolds Frank for giving himself sugar rush and making himself look bad in front of the neighbors, but to her relief, she finds that Frank has drank all of the soda and there is no more left.


After the cookout is over and the neighbors have left, Frank and Kamalia go inside and prepare for bed. As usual, Frank turns on the television and watches some of the news channels, only this time Frank was actually concerned about the local news because of the tiger attack, as opposed to his usual watching the news for sake of entertainment. Kamalia takes the remote and turns off the television, much to Frank's disliking. Kamalia continues scolding Frank for giving himself sugar rush with the soda, to which Frank responds by acknowledging that she already scolded him once this evening. Kamalia agrees to let him loose for the next few days, so long as Frank doesn't let himself drink or get into the sugar. Frank and Kamalia go to bed.

Later in the morning, around 2:43 AM, Kamalia wakes up to get a glass of water and finds Frank missing from the couch where he normally sleeps. Kamalia continues investigating, only to find Frank nowhere in the house. She checks the refrigerator, for fear that Frank may have gotten into the sugar again. But she finds all of the food and drinks where they belong, and Frank is nowhere to be found. Kamalia looks for Frank outside, but does not find him. Worried, Kamalia places a call to the Fort Myers Police Department regarding the missing Frank.

The police arrive at the park, along with Officer Barns and Officer Johnson, who knew who Frank was as they had earlier asked him questions pertaining to the tiger attack. Officer Barns sets out a search for Frank and informs the other officers that there is no mistaking him. The search goes on from 3:00 AM to 6:00 AM. After hours of searching with no trail to follow, Officer Johnson finally finds Frank in the nearby woods seemingly sleepwalking. Officer Johnson taps Frank on the shoulder, which wakes him from his trance. Frank screams out of fear, not knowing where he is and why. Frank then recognizes Johnson, and they head back to the park.

When Frank and Johnson return to the park, Kamalia demands to know where Frank has been. Frank explains to Kamalia and the officers that he doesn't remember leaving the house the previous night, and that all he does remember is going to bed and having a dream about the tiger's wet fur smell. While the police officers dismiss Frank's absence as a common case of sleepwalking, they are suspicious of Frank's dream involving the tiger's smell. Officer Barns comes to a theory: the tiger was at the park last night, Frank smelled the tiger while he was asleep, and the high levels of sugar in his body caused him to go into a sleepwalking trance and follow the smell. Barns was fearful, for he knew that if his theory was correct, this meant that the tiger was at the park last night and could have easily pulled off another attack.

Sure enough, some of the police officers find tiger tracks in the mud near the woods where they found Frank. While most of the officers dismiss these as tiger tracks, Officer Barns demands that they bring out their animal tracks sheet to be sure. The footprints prove to be tiger tracks and the officers leave the park. Before leaving, Officer Johnson orders that the park be shut down from all new arriving visitors to avoid more tiger attacks.

Return to Sanibel

Frank and Kamalia decide to go to Sanibel Island again, hoping that it will distract them from the tiger fuss. Frank also demands that he wants to go to the Sanibel Island Dairy Queen. Kamalia agrees and the two drive to Sanibel Island.

When Frank and Kamalia arrive at Sanibel, they find that the beach is surprisingly deserted for the morning time that the beach is usually crowded. Frank notices a sign that reads "WARNING: CURFEW IN EFFECT. ENTER BEACH AT YOUR OWN RISK!" This gives Frank and Kamalia the exact opposite feelings they were hoping a trip to the beach would give them: relief. But instead, knowing this is because of the tiger, Frank and Kamalia are now nervous and worried again. While no one is restricted from going to the beach, the curfew now advises that people stay inside or near their homes. Despite the sign's warnings, Frank and Kamalia decide to set up a towel on the beach.

Frank goes swimming in the ocean, hoping that the cold water will help relax him (as Frank's species is relaxed by cold temperatures as opposed to humans who are relaxed by warm temperatures). Kamalia reads a book while sitting on a beach chair and keeps an eye on Frank. For the fun of it, Frank decides to pick up a crab that he sees in the water. Upon picking up the crab, it quite obviously pinches Frank's hand and thus forces Frank to drop the crustacean. Kamalia begins taking pictures of the birds that fly around the beach and ocean, including pelicans, seagulls, etc. Frank and Kamalia spend their whole day at the beach.

When Frank and Kamalia have had enough of the beach and the sun begins to set, they leave for the Dairy Queen. Frank and Kamalia stop at the Dairy Queen on Sanibel, where Frank orders a Chocolate Xtreme Blizzard and two chilli cheese dogs and Kamalia orders a Mint Oreo Blizzard. Frank and Kamalia sit at the tables under the porch of the restaurant, where they talk about their vacation and what to do about the tiger attacks. Frank, who is distracted by eating his chilli cheese dogs, ignores Kamalia and tries to forget about the tiger. When they finish their food and the sky is now dark, Frank and Kamalia leave the Dairy Queen and stop at a grocery market and gas station back in Fort Myers.

Face to face

Kamalia begins filling up the van with gas while Frank goes inside the grocery store to buy some soda, only to find the store cashier dead and bloodied on the floor and no one else in the store. Frank begins hearing loud snoring noises and turns around to find the tiger sleeping on the floor in between two shelves of groceries, with fresh blood around its mouth. Terrified, Frank quietly tries to walk out of the store, but accidentally steps on a potato chip left on the floor from the carnage caused by the tiger attacking the cashier. The chip makes a cracking sound, which wakes the tiger. The tiger chases Frank out of the store and Frank quickly hides in the van. Kamalia asks him what's going on, and Frank, an in distinctive frightened tone, roughly explains that the tiger is inside the store and has killed the cashier.

Kamalia gets in the van and calls the Fort Myers Police Department, and she is relived to have Officer Johnson answer the phone. After Kamalia explains the situation, Officer Johnson sends out five cruisers to the store and he himself, along with Officer Barns, head to the store in their own cruiser. Frank and Kamalia wait for the police in the van, which has now broken down due to Kamalia being unable to fuel the vehicle in the small amount of time she had in between their arrival and Frank's discovery of the tiger. Afraid to leave the vehicle, Frank and Kamalia are stuck waiting for the police, with the tiger inside the store only fourteen feet away.

Fifth teen minutes later, the police arrive in their cruisers and surround the building, with their guns and tranquilizers ready. Frank and Kamalia watch as two officers enter the store with their guns. The officers shoot at the tiger, but the tiger gets the upper hand when it shields itself behind a grocery shelf and tips over the shelf. The shelf lands on one of the officer's feet, leaving him unable to escape. The other officer lifts up the shelf and helps his fallen partner, taking him with him when he leaves the building with the tiger still inside.

Seemingly unable to defeat the tiger, the officers try to bait the beast with tiger urine, hoping to draw the tiger out of the store to tranquilize it. However, when the officers execute their plan, the tiger becomes smart and does not go outside. The tiger continues to stay in the building, waiting for the next person who's foolish enough to enter and make them its next meal.

Frank, remembering the information he read in his book about man-eating tigers on his e-reader on his flight to Florida, decides to allow himself to be used as bait for the tiger, figuring that his unique appearance (being that he is an alien) will attract the tiger's attention. Officer Barns and Officer Johnson agree to use Frank's plan. Frank enters the store and searches for the tiger, and it's not long before the tiger smells him and chases Frank out of the store. But this time, the tiger follows him outside. The tiger chases Frank all the way down the road to the trailer park where Frank and Kamalia spent their vacation. Frank is cornered by the tiger outside the gate of the park. The tiger starts sniffing Frank and prepares to kill him, but the police followed Frank and the tiger to the park and Officer Barns shoots the tiger with a tranquilizer dart, thus saving Frank's life.

Tranquility returns to Fort Myers

With the tiger tranquilized, the animal is taken back to the Naples Zoo to be examined by medical care. Frank also points out that it is only when tigers are wounded that they take to killing and eating humans, and that there is likely a reason for the tiger's rampage. Sure enough, the zoo later learns that the tiger's previous zookeeper had neglected to feed the animal, despite said zookeeper now being dead (he was killed by the tiger as its revenge). It is also revealed that the store cashier who was presumed dead actually survived with severe wounds and bleeding and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.

Officer Barns and Officer Johnson thank Frank and Kamalia for alerting them of the tiger being at the store. Kamalia simply responds that it was completely unintentional and that it was only by luck that Frank survived, as he would have been killed by the tiger in only a few more minutes. Kamalia also thanks Officer Barns for tranquilizing the tiger and that it is him who they should be thanking. Officer Barns and Officer Johnson depart to the police station with the other officers and Frank and Kamalia return to their home in the park for the night.


  • Protagonists
    • Frank - the clumsy alien who loves wine and frequently disguises himself as a human child with a head deformity.
    • Kamalia Phellan - a werewolf and Frank's best friend on Earth who helps keep him out of trouble.
    • Officer Barns - an officer at the Fort Myers Police Department who works with Officer Johnson.
    • Officer Johnson - an officer at the Fort Myers Police Department who works with Officer Barns.
  • Antagonists
    • Bengal tiger/Fort Myers Maneater/Sanibel Maneater - a tiger from the Naples Zoo who turned maneater and escaped from the zoo after being abused by an amateur zookeeper. The tiger goes on an attacking spree on Sanibel Island and Fort Myers, causing the locals to set a day to night curfew.


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